Yeah.. My casual little ranting page..

Yeah, i’m meant to be going.. like literally leaving in 10 minutes and have yet to even have a shower.. oops!

Hate days like this when I have no work, cause I always get roped in to doing housework.. It’s so annoying :(

And on that note, a breakdancing bear..

Right, so this is gonna be my first full blown rant on here since i decided to start up again..
So i was on a night out the other week and i decided (at 6 in the morning) that i wanted a mcdonalds breakfast..
so naturally i went to maccy d’s got my breakfast then thought ‘oh shit, i’m running low on cash and i ain’t walking home’ so i went to a lloyds cash point.. done all the usual stuff of putting in my pin and stuff, put in how much cash i needed to cover a cab back to my mate’s, waited for 10 minutes and the machine decided to EAT MY FUCKING CARD!!! i know i had loads of cash in there so i was confused.. i left there and my mate covered the fare (wahey! cheeky bit of rhyming). i then get a phonecall this morning saying that the bank has my card and i now how to go back to chelmsford, just to go and pick up my card cause they won’t send it!! fucking fuming. if i was driving, not a problem, but i’m not so yeah.. PRICKS!
rant over.

Right, so i’m thinking..
I NEED to cut down on my smoking! i mean was in brentwood on sunday playing football as you do and 15 minutes in i was fucked! partly cause of the hangover, but mostly cause i do 20 a day.. probably best i get down a gym and cut down abit, or i’m gonna start dying when i walk up the stairs which is never good! even starting to get a lil beer belly!!!!  it’s nothing spectacular, but it pisses me off looking down where i used to have a six-pack and seeing abit of belly. yuk! 

right, so i’m back on here after MONTHS and wanna try and get this crap going properly, so i’ll update with my little rants as and when i can be fucked to do so. yeah.

How fucking dare you tell me what to do in a house you don’t even live in!!!
i’ll tell you what mate, you’re lucky my sister likes you, cause otherwise you’d be on the deck.
You Scummy waste of space, the sooner you get a flat away from this house the better.

Rant over..

Seriously, the past 3 days have been sooooo SCREWED!!! i need to get out and find someway of taking my mind off everything. my best mates parents hate me for some unknown reason, i broke up with my girlfriend, my dad’s being a dick, dunno the next time i’m gonna see my mum annnd to top it all off, I’M STILL NOT IN THE BLOODY ARMY!!!

Start with a cage containing five monkeys.

Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water.

After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result - all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him.

After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked.

Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana.

And that, your honour, is why I was at the border shooting at illegal immigrants - to deter the rest.